What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
