I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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