I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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