My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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