I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
