I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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