i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
