it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
