I am puke
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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