You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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