i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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