Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
do nipples grow back?
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