At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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