whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
