Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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