The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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