My hand turned me down
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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