Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
