New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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