we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
