yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
why is half of my head shaved?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
