The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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