I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
