So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Of course I have a pirate flag
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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