she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
