No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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