Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
