and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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