Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
