he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(