So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
