peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
