Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this beer tastes like vomit already
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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