Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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