so that wasnt chicken after all
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
