If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
