I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize