oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
