well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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