I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
