HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
