Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
