how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
