How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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