No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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