Buhtt sex?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
