my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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