I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
