Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let's get the cat blown out
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
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