Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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