Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
