we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
