Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
