the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
