sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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