it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
