So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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