wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
