Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
