FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
