i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
