My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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