he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
