her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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