This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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